“Rejoice with those who rejoice, 

mourn with those who mourn.” 

I never identified with that before. 

At least the mourning part. 

Until a year ago... 

I was living in Texas. 

God’s Country. 

I nannied my niece. 

Mondays were prayer request days. 

My niece napped 2-3 hours a day. 

It gave me time to pray. 

I would use other days to pray too. 

I was lazy one day. 

I wanted to just chill. 

Watch a movie or something. 

I didn’t “feel” like praying that day.

Then the phone rang. 

It was my aunt. 

She asked me to pray. 

There had been a death; a suicide. 

A teenage boy. 

I met his sister once but never met him.

I said “Ok, I’ll be praying.” and hung up. 

It took a second to register. 

And then the tears came. 

Lots of tears. 

Shaking shoulders. 

Deep gasps to breathe out sorrow. 

The devil just messed with the wrong girl.

I was no longer too lazy to pray. 

I didn’t know what to say.

But God provided for that. 

The next few days were a blur of tears. 

If I wasn’t crying, I was on the verge. 

There was a black cloud of incredible sadness. 

I couldn’t shake it. 

I mourned.

For a stranger.

For the parents who lost their son.

For the sisters who lost their brother. 

For some kids who lost their best friend.

Today is the anniversary of his Home going. 

I didn’t know him, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget him.

His mom writes a blog.
I cry every time I read it.
Its raw, its real.
My heart swells with thankfulness at God's faithfulness.
Despite the pain, the ache, the storms of life...
There's grace, there's hope and joy amidst it all.

// I'm alive

Even though a part of me has died

You take my heart and breathe it back to life

I've fallen into your arms open wide

When the hurt and the healer collide

It's the moment when humanity

Is overcome by majesty

When grace is ushered in for good

And all the scars are understood

When mercy takes its rightful place

And all these questions fade away

When out of the weakness we must bow

And hear You say "It's over now" //

(The Hurt And The Healer by MercyMe)